My darling little peanut has given me and his father the stomach bug. It is hard as shit taking care of a 14-month-old baby when you can't get off the bathroom floor. Poor peanut - i think he thought it was a game, although he did come pat my back at one point. Thanks to my MIL who entertained peanut while we stayed in bed. We are seriously lucky to have e's mom and my parents live so close.
You might be asking why we feel the need to add another little peanut to the general chaos. I don't know, just a feeling. You might say God is leading us to do this. That's how I feel at this point but God hasn't exactly told me that - no emails, texts, letters, stone tablets. He hasn't said "YOU SHALL ADOPT." (If he did speak that directly to me, I get the feeling He would need to yell in order for me to hear Him over the millions of things/voices/ideas swirling around in my head.)
Wait just a second...the Royal Baby just came out of the hospital!!! Eeeeekkk!!!! just saw his little hands waving. There it is - I want another baby!!!!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
No news...
isn't good news, in this instance. No advances on the adoption front. Had a few days off for the 4th. Spent lots of quality time with my family and my little peanut. But then got sick and am still feeling it - general yuckiness, sniffles, cough (which i'm sure my office mates love hearing all day -- i PROMISE it isn't contagious guys).
I need to get in gear and get this thing started. Maybe tomorrow I'll call a consultant and get the ball rolling. Or maybe I'll do it Thursday. I DON'T KNOW!!
I need to get in gear and get this thing started. Maybe tomorrow I'll call a consultant and get the ball rolling. Or maybe I'll do it Thursday. I DON'T KNOW!!
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Tears for fears...
So, other concerns - which I'm sure are completely normal.
Will I love this new baby?
Will I love this new baby as much as I love my little peanut?
Will I be able to treat this new baby the same as my little peanut?
Will I be able to handle two kids?
Will I be able to handle another newborn?
Should we consider a child with special needs? If so, what special needs?
Will I be able to handle the waiting involved?
What if it doesn't work out? Will I be ok with one child?
I know I'll be ok with one child. I just always had these visions of kids running around the house, messing things up, getting in fights, but loving each other all the same. We were blessed with an amazing little guy. I love him more than words can say. I just don't want him to miss out on the joys having a sibling can bring. And not just being kids together, but being "adults" together. I say "adults" because I don't feel like one. I have a job and a mortgage but don't necessarily feel like a grown-up all the time.
I will say this - there is one silver lining to this journey. Since I cannot have another child physically, we don't have to try that route. What I'm saying is there was no guarantee I could've gotten pregnant again anyway (that's one thing I learned last year - there are no guarantees in life). So at least we won't lose years trying that route before turning to another.
I think that's it for now. I need a snack.
Will I love this new baby?
Will I love this new baby as much as I love my little peanut?
Will I be able to treat this new baby the same as my little peanut?
Will I be able to handle two kids?
Will I be able to handle another newborn?
Should we consider a child with special needs? If so, what special needs?
Will I be able to handle the waiting involved?
What if it doesn't work out? Will I be ok with one child?
I know I'll be ok with one child. I just always had these visions of kids running around the house, messing things up, getting in fights, but loving each other all the same. We were blessed with an amazing little guy. I love him more than words can say. I just don't want him to miss out on the joys having a sibling can bring. And not just being kids together, but being "adults" together. I say "adults" because I don't feel like one. I have a job and a mortgage but don't necessarily feel like a grown-up all the time.
I will say this - there is one silver lining to this journey. Since I cannot have another child physically, we don't have to try that route. What I'm saying is there was no guarantee I could've gotten pregnant again anyway (that's one thing I learned last year - there are no guarantees in life). So at least we won't lose years trying that route before turning to another.
I think that's it for now. I need a snack.
And so it begins...
So, we're going to adopt. Or at least we're starting down that path.
So why are we doing this? Due to some unforseen circumstances after the birth of our first child last year, our only avenue to expand our brood is via adoption. Which is fine - I have come to terms with this (mostly - i still have my moments). Our little guy just turned one so we figured it's time to get the ball rolling on this adoption thing. E and I have been blessed to have siblings we love and cherish. I want the same thing for our little peanut.
HOWEVER, if any of you have started the adoption process, you know it can be completely overwhelming. DO NOT google anything as simple as "adoption agency" or "how to adopt" or "get me a baby" - you will have a bajillion results and neither the time nor the inclination to sort through them.
To start, I have a million questions:
How do I start the process?
Cost?
Domestic or international?
Ethnicity?
Age? This one we have an answer for - as young as possible, preferably newborn. (However, having just had a newborn, this opens a new discussion about whether we're crazy for wanting another newborn. Sleepless nights, the smell of formula, etc.)
Most of the agencies/consultants we are looking into for guidance are Christian based. Which is fine, because we are Christians. But, sometimes these Christian-based organizations make me feel like I'm not Christian enough. Like, I can't just quote Bible verses or I don't speak Christian-ese. I'm a lawyer, so I tend to write in a more boring manner if you will. I realize that's part of being human, having self-doubt and struggling with my own self-esteem.
I'm also worried about the emotional toll. Since having our little peanut and experiencing a quite terrifying complication that took me months to recover from, I am more emotionally fragile so to speak. I cry more easily - whether from a sappy commercial (stupid Hallmark) or my baby getting teeth (he's growing TOO FAST!!!!) or a general realization that I cannot control everything (again, STOP GROWING SO FAST!!!).
So why are we doing this? Due to some unforseen circumstances after the birth of our first child last year, our only avenue to expand our brood is via adoption. Which is fine - I have come to terms with this (mostly - i still have my moments). Our little guy just turned one so we figured it's time to get the ball rolling on this adoption thing. E and I have been blessed to have siblings we love and cherish. I want the same thing for our little peanut.
HOWEVER, if any of you have started the adoption process, you know it can be completely overwhelming. DO NOT google anything as simple as "adoption agency" or "how to adopt" or "get me a baby" - you will have a bajillion results and neither the time nor the inclination to sort through them.
To start, I have a million questions:
How do I start the process?
Cost?
Domestic or international?
Ethnicity?
Age? This one we have an answer for - as young as possible, preferably newborn. (However, having just had a newborn, this opens a new discussion about whether we're crazy for wanting another newborn. Sleepless nights, the smell of formula, etc.)
Most of the agencies/consultants we are looking into for guidance are Christian based. Which is fine, because we are Christians. But, sometimes these Christian-based organizations make me feel like I'm not Christian enough. Like, I can't just quote Bible verses or I don't speak Christian-ese. I'm a lawyer, so I tend to write in a more boring manner if you will. I realize that's part of being human, having self-doubt and struggling with my own self-esteem.
I'm also worried about the emotional toll. Since having our little peanut and experiencing a quite terrifying complication that took me months to recover from, I am more emotionally fragile so to speak. I cry more easily - whether from a sappy commercial (stupid Hallmark) or my baby getting teeth (he's growing TOO FAST!!!!) or a general realization that I cannot control everything (again, STOP GROWING SO FAST!!!).
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