Tears for fears...

So, other concerns - which I'm sure are completely normal. 
Will I love this new baby?
Will I love this new baby as much as I love my little peanut?
Will I be able to treat this new baby the same as my little peanut?
Will I be able to handle two kids?
Will I be able to handle another newborn?
Should we consider a child with special needs?  If so, what special needs?
Will I be able to handle the waiting involved?
What if it doesn't work out?  Will I be ok with one child?

I know I'll be ok with one child.  I just always had these visions of kids running around the house, messing things up, getting in fights, but loving each other all the same.  We were blessed with an amazing little guy.  I love him more than words can say.  I just don't want him to miss out on the joys having a sibling can bring.  And not just being kids together, but being "adults" together.  I say "adults" because I don't feel like one.  I have a job and a mortgage but don't necessarily feel like a grown-up all the time.

I will say this - there is one silver lining to this journey.  Since I cannot have another child physically, we don't have to try that route.  What I'm saying is there was no guarantee I could've gotten pregnant again anyway (that's one thing I learned last year - there are no guarantees in life).  So at least we won't lose years trying that route before turning to another.

I think that's it for now.  I need a snack.